The only social platform I’m active on these days is LinkedIn. And 2025 on LinkedIn was really something, because it’s when the beep boops officially took over.
It paralyzed me for a little while. I wondered if my career as a writer was being shoved toward obsolescence. A scary five minutes! I got over it quickly, because all I had to do was read the LLM prose to know I’m gonna be just fine.
My fear was eventually replaced with anger that people actually thought Instant meant Good Enough To Publish. AI art is an uncanny valley hellscape that mirrors human thought just closely enough to be horrifying.
It’s never going to be better than me.
[extremely Men’s Wearhouse voice] I guarantee it.
Why I’ll be wrong
I’ll be wrong if AI learns to create brand-new, wonderfully-written and better-than-me writing just like all the apologists on LinkedIn say it will.
why it’ll never happen
i don’t think ai fully understands the lengths i’ll go to in order to make sure my writing sounds different than all the other stuff out there. a short list of what i’m willing to do:
be inconsistent with punctuation
completely jettison capitalization
publish with intentional type Os
derail the the flow (the limoncello flavor of la croix might be the worst thing humanity has ever created) with remarkably unrelated parentheticals
abandon all emojis
OOPS I LIED, I’M BACK TO CAPITALIZING
that list is alive and evolving. i’m going to keep monitoring how ai writes, then run screaming in the other direction. this is literally the only option that makes sense to me and my incompetent, imperfect brain.
and to any human reading this: don’t just sit there. pick up the pen and put something unique and 100% yours into the world. we need it. WE NEEEEEEED ITTTTTTT.
Beep boops™ is the only way I’ll be referring to AI moving forward
more La Croix content plz